Where tf you been since 2023 Doc?

Updates from Doc

Aug 6

Do you remember Dr. Reuben from back in the day, prior to 2023? The 5 minute quickies? The social media influencer-style posts about my adventures? The invitations to my speaking events? Me just checking in on how people online were feeling with a picture of a feelings wheel?

“Welcome to 5 minute Quickies with Dr. Reuben! ✋🏿”

Well maybe you do. Maybe you don’t. But many of you probably noticed that I disappeared into the abyss of silence. It wasn’t just on social media, but it was in real life too. Many of you haven’t seen replies to texts, emails, or FaceTime calls. Some of you might have thought I died. Well, as you can tell…I’m still kickin’.

But to be honest, I’ve been on one hell of a journey since 2023. I’ll get into the details of what led me to disappear, but the short story is that I found myself in the throes of an addiction: The addiction was people pleasing.

My high was putting others before myself in my personal and professional relationships. I became an expert at it too. Family, friends, colleagues, clients, and every team I’ve been a part of were my top priority and it was a beautiful thing, until I realized that I was doing so at the expense of the single most important relationship I have—the one with myself. There is a dramatic crash and burn story, but I’m going to circle back to that in more detail soon.

In short, I had to disappear and heal myself. Colloquially, I needed to check myself before I wrecked myself. Metaphorically, I went away to the mountains away from people to figure out who I was and why I am on the planet.

The good news is, I gained clarity on who I am and what I'm on the planet to do.

The not so great news, is that it took me nearly 3.5 years away from people to do so. Was it worth it? For sure… Will some of my relationships recover? Probably not.

So what now?

Well I considered returning back to my old self. The pre-2023 way of life and showing up in the world wasn’t so bad. I was achieving everything I wanted in my personal and professional worlds and building beautiful momentum. However, my process was flawed by deprioritizing myself. It was a subtle, yet insidious form of self-sabotage that was destroying me from the inside out. So in the spirit of wisdom and expansion, I can’t go back…only forward.

So my choice has been to live in FULL alignment with who and what I’ve discovered in my time away. It’s one of my most courageous acts and ongoing projects to date. Since 2023, it has attracted beautiful opportunities. Some of them include:

Speaking at the Black Student
Athlete Summit in 2023